When sickos want sex they choose me. Wait - that's not all. My accumulated experience with people has been for the worse. That's what it is. The stalkers are not among the worst people I've known and they are not among the strangest things about my life. But they were nearly killing me in the end.

Due to the sensitive nature of this: none of these stalkers in the description to the right are immigrants, however the girl with the death-threats described belowclaimed to be an immigrant, butthis might as well have been a hoax, taking that her story was not airtight. All of the people to the right seem like native swedes. The reason I think so is that they have (at least) been talking to me. This is non-surprising. Only people that blend in can act like this without getting problems.

All of this happened in Sweden. In Sweden stalking was not a crime until 2011 - however in 2010 a person was convicted for stalking/online identity theft (not related to me). Anyhow stalking was not something people talked about until about 2006. I haven't gone to the police telling them about this - partly because I don't see that I will be believed, partly because I have been through much much worse crimes than these that I have to deal with instead. I have also had threats from various persons 2005-2012, but those weren't among the worst things I've been through, either. Unknown people have also attacked me on the street a couple of times and when this happened 2005 it was a murder attempt and the police were there but did not find the guy(s). I'm not planning to try to sue any people that have done light crimes to me - it does not work that way in Sweden. Either you live, or not. And swedish justice only comes in when somebody has already died. Really - the worse it has gotten (2011 was the most persistent stalker and in 2012 I had three different occations) the less the police have been out. The truth is that they don't control Sweden in 2012. They have been outdoors less and less the past few years and this is because they don't dare going outside their lunch room. And the reason for this is that crime has simply taken over. Swedish (immigrant) mafia bosses write books and are regarded as cool, hyped up films are made about their lifestyle and are mainstream culture today. And the reason that mafia culture is mainstream is that one out of three swedes are criminals, and they hail the mafia and have taken over the streets. For example on my street it is now common to drive three-four times the speed limit (there are kindergartens). They can do this because cops don't dare going out. They stopped patrolling the neighborhood in 2010. They don't visit the living areas anymore - all they still protect is the local shopping mall. In this context, nothing in this article is a bad enough crime to even raise eyebrows over. However what is still unique is that the stalking has happened to me over and over. Famous people often have one or a few stalkers over a lifetime - not regularly. I wasn't even famous when most of this happened.

There have also been cute cases all along since cellphones became regular (all through the 2000's) where unknown women contacted me in a creepy way on cellphone or online - that did not derail and therefore did not become articles. The typical case was when I got (in swedish though) "I'm your best friend, let's brunch tomorrow handsome". That particular text (it was in fact a couple of text messages) came from a cellphone registered to a girl with the same birthday as a girl I had been chatting with on a swedish discussion board, she was a notorious attention-seeker - and I don't believe in coincidences.

All in all the internet is pretty innocent. Only once did I get an explicit threat online, from a guy who got jealous, after I made paintings to a girl in 2010, also from online. None of the worst stalkers came from internet.

Something I've learnt about haters is the saying is only half-true. Only some of the haters are confused fans. The other half are true haters.

Some of the incidents:

December 2011 I was contacted by a girl on a chatroom and she knew more about me than than just stuff you can read online. She said she had been watching me on the street going shopping, what time and how I looked. I never found out who she was but I think I know how she found me. I think there was something going on in this chatroom because there was a guy there who found out the adresses of people.

January 2012 I got into a chat that went wrong, with a girl on a chatroom. We started phoning and she told me some things about her life that she did not want spread. It was more and more obvious that she played a role in the chatroom that was not truthful. I was not interested in exposing her as a fraud (which I've done with others online sometimes) because we were actually talking. I was interested in her real story. But my questions freaked her out. And she was frightened now that I knew more than I should about her, that I would talk. Well I haven't. She did send me a couple of death threats on cellphone texts. The deal was 'Don't talk shit about me or I'll kill you'. I still have no plans to talk more than that.

December 2012 I got five phonecalls from someone unknown, in a couple of days time. When I did not pick up, someone came and buzzed my door on the same Saturday and Monday.

When summing up a very bad year my body broke down simultaneously.

I have been disturbingly followed by strange people quite continuously for the past 15 years. This is what happened - latest to first.

The villager 2012 Fleeing all cities buying a house in a distant village I was thinking it should be easier but trouble found me instantly. The neighbouring house was also for sale so a lot of curious villagers as well as potential buyers stopped by. It shared driveway with my own house so they naturally came near. Some of those people I approached and said hi. One was an older man with a cowboy looking hat. He started talking about the old days when there was a shop in those houses and I took out some old packing bills to show him there were items left from the 1950's. He then proceeded to walk into my garage without asking. I had just bought the house and had nothing against showing it so I proposed that he should see the inside which he did. So standing there in my new kitchen he said sorry but came towards me and put his hand on my upper arm. He was pulsating. He did not say anything more but he had mentioned he lived close by.

Another day I had been shopping by foot and walked the village road when he called me out and asked me to come down to his front porch. So I did. There was another older guy there and they both said they were 75 but they both looked very healthy for this age however the other guy had white hair and my new stalker had rims of gold along the front row of his teeth. He gave me whiskey and the other guy gave me a beer. My stalker made a lot of jokes with me and often clapped my shoulder in the arrogant way only friends would normally do. He got drunk. He smelled horrific, very similar to the dissection hall at medical school. Which was dead bodies drenched in preserving alcohol. The other guy took out his mobile phone and we started talking about internet and I showed him my website and my title tune and he listened.

My stalker brought up that he had touched me and I said it was because he wanted to be sure I existed. He then said it was because he wanted to see that I was me. He also showed ill will by insulting me while sitting on his porch. It was not very late, and I went home.

A couple of days later he drove up on my front lawn which is a strange thing to do but obviously it works like this in this village because two other guys have done it also out of which one is helpful and the other one wanted to buy a machine in the outhouse. The stalker guy went straight into my garage because he wanted to see my Porsche. This time he was more distant and not amused and did not do anything.

The gym guy 2006-2011 I was in desperate need of friends. I got into a conversation with others in the hot tub in the swimming hall - which was something regular to do for me. They were speaking about dianetics - which I was unsure what it was.
     We agreed to start going to another gym.
     He liked to touch me but not more than friendly I THOUGHT. He liked to shake hands and once he asked to touch my biceps and at that time I let him. I had taken a few muscle pics of me that he basically complimented but he also pointed out the weakness with them. Daring to criticise each other in Sweden is something mostly only friends can do. So everything looked like we were actually friends.
     I played one of my old pop songs to him and explained what kind of pop music it is in it's (swedish) context.
     I realised slowly that he is not following the rules. I had borrowed one of his books and he (or was it his wife) phoned to tell it is important that they get it back. So we scheduled to meet and he did not show up, not once but twice.
     He ignored the meeting we had scheduled for an indoors climbing instruction session.
     Guess he lacks sufficient endorphine production because he doesn't get into exercising. Normally the body systems adapt to training and after doing it some times it gets more painful to NOT train. He doesn't seem to get into that stage as he is not exercising really - he just walks a while on the treadmill or something. So I guess that's why he's a sociopath - he doesn't have the normal chemistry hence he takes bigger risks.
     He took his friend (from the swimming hall) there but that guy was seen more and more seldom and probably dropped out. He (my stalker) also said that he took his wife and daughter to the new gym but I never saw them there. I got the feeling that he wanted me to somewhat become a part of his family. They were also scientologists. He and the wife. Which, of course, he tried to convince me was a good thing. I also once went to see him on a scientology convent.
     He told me "damn - you look good" and after that it all went overboard. During the summer he started to phone me several times a day telling that he wanted to go sunbathing on the secluded cliffs down the lake. That's where I got the messsage that he's after me. So I started to ignore him instead.
     As we were going to the same gym, I avoided him as much as possible there, but we eventually had to get across each other. That was the following autumn. I confronted him with what's written above. That he's unreliable as a friend and that he suddenly started to phone me like crazy and that I hated all of it. That time when we met he gave me his hand I squeezed it too hard and told him to not look happy. The message seemed to get across as he stopped looking happy and started listening to me - to why I was totally unhappy about the whole of him. He thanked me for explaining why I dislike him and the hand squeezing is supposedly stored in his amygdala (the trauma-center) as an unpleasant experience that's supposed to be avoided in the future...
     It lasted all the while until next late summer when we bumped into each other again. He stood in the exit hallway from the gym speaking in the phone and I was on my way out. I did not say hello but just passed by and he kicked open the door for me. Shortly I was sitting in the jacuzzi relaxing and he came out from the dressing room and saw me there on his way to the gym. It was tense. It was like the hair on my neck stood up altho sitting in the heat. So I waited 5 minutes to see if he was coming back for some reason. When he did not - I went up to get the hell out of there. Shortly he turns up in the dressing room! I did not think of the possibility to sit in the gym with a view over the walkway from the jacuzzi to the dressing room! So I'm standing there eating an apple. He says hi and I show nothing - nothing at all. Not even a mood change. I kept the spirit up. So he vanished into the loo. And I could leave.

Now it did not end there. But he kept calling me a couple of times a year and I did not pick up the phone. In 2011 it got much worse, there were weekly calls all through the autumn. I looked up his adress and by then he had moved from previously 20 kilometers away to only 2 kilometers away. However I was not the only reason for him to move there it was obviously crucial. He had earlier told me there were relatives of him there.

The girlfriends 1990-1992 & 1999-2006 Both my last and first girlfriend developed an obsessive behaviour over time. Both started to call numerous times when it became obvious how weak the relationship really was, and that I wanted time for myself. As more time passed they both happily left me for one other guy respectively. So obsession is merely a game of power - and I let them be in charge.

The pool guy 2001-2005 So I had moved to another city and it was the same at the swimming hall. Someone tried to talk to me in the sauna. A dark guy with moustache in his 50's. He looked like Håkan Juholt only with a round face. He had a nice charming smile. This was in a time when sickos luring kids with candy was considered a joke. Typically those "jokes" happen to me. It's not hard to imagine he uses poolhouses to pick up young guys regularly.

His checking me out became unbearable and I switched to the other swimming hall, whereupon he started going there instead. He was a lousy swimmer but he was pretty big and imposed some kind of real threat.

He continued to check me out for while until I took my girlfriend (at the time) there several times and sat closely with her in the jacuzzi, I also made friends there - in the end he lost interest. I saw him downtown several times after that but he never gave away any sign that he recognized me. It was several sightings in exactly the same place - a well guarded (literally!) spot in central city - he always rushed forward with a briefcase.

The landlord 2001 So I moved to another city (not because of the stalker) and rented a big room in an old two story wooden villa. Downstairs lived a young couple (both med. doctors) with a little daughter. The old man (close to 60 years probably) had let the room earlier to a security guard he told me. I thought that sounded somehow reassuring. But within 6 months he started acting weird around me. There was nothing in particular that he said. He did not offend me or something. He just showed in a sublime way that he got interested in me. So I had to flee. Not to my surprise he called after I had left.

The sauna guy 1998 So far countryside. I moved to a city and went swimming regularly in the biggest poolhouse, a little naive maybe, I responded to conversation in the sauna. It was a guy in his 50's or something. Well, he absolutely did NOT look nice - but that he would be going after people like me just never occured to me. So what followed was a long series of his attempts to contact me (in that relax department) and that I became very suspicious about hanging there.

The sound technician 1997 I was gigging my pop songs before a 300 persons crowd - it was a private party. The gig was a real success and I recall the sound technician tried to give me liquor. Later on he called or what was it. Anyway suddenly he was at my home! He had gone there with his lorry that he kept his sound equipment in and used to sleep when away working. So obviously he was gay. As soon as understanding his intentions I walked away not to hear from him again.

The girl in the villa 1990 I had weird people around me before I even had a girlfriend. Someone started to call me at home and exactly because I was young I was curious. So on a midsummers eve I went with a friend to her place - a big villa on the countryside - nearby where I lived. That was an experience I won't forget. She had her friend there and she was obviously drunk from spirits. When she was hitting on me I had to announce that I was not immediately interested in her like that. So she broke a mirror intending to cut herself with the pieces - and her friend had to stop her.
     I met them both a few times after that and everything ended nicely.

Chaan, 2009-2013